1. "Tha Stanky Legg."

2. Eat a life-sized butter sculpture of herself.

3. Wrestle a prize-winning goat.

4. "Everybody gets a bumper car!"

5. Pull a DART Green Line train into the Fair Park station with her teeth.

6. Challenge Gayle to a corny-dog eating contest.

7. Trade hair-care tips with assorted carnies.

8. Have Dr. Oz conduct physicals with a deep-fried stethoscope.

9. Ambush Big Tex with a surprise makeover.

10. Show up at U2's concert later that night and challenge Bono to an "awesome-off."

Geoff Johnston