BEN & SKIN'S HOT POTATO SALAD

TOPIC 1

Skin: I celebrated Father's Day with a hangover. It was pretty hardcore. Apparently, large amounts of vodka followed by beer and topped off with a 3 a.m. pizza run is a combustible combination. Am I too old to be dry heaving on Field Street at 10 a.m. on a Sunday morning?

Ben: Let me get this straight. You celebrated Father's Day as a married man with two kids by vomiting in the street in broad daylight? Nice. Were you wearing tight-rolled Girbauds and colorful Zodiacs? I thought you were retired, dude. You're like the Brett Favre of the drunken-puke circuit.

Skin: I totally forgot about Zodiacs. Those were never underrated. I thought you could drink beer after clear liquor. Where are the rules on safe binge drinking? I swear I won't drink that hard again until I've had shoulder surgery – to see if I can still get it done. It's hard to walk away, Ben. I just love the game too much.

Ben: You've somehow turned me into the Joe Buck of this conversation, and I simply won't stand for that. By the way, in watching his terrible show I may have found the only person in the world in worse shape than I am – Artie Lange. I might start playing basketball again if I never have to guard anyone else but him.

TOPIC 2

Ben: Speaking of hangovers, I went for seconds on 'The Hangover,' just to have it ruined by some piss-poor parenting. Can you believe a family of idiots brought two children under the age of 8? I was disgusted. I could barely enjoy the machine-gun f-bombs knowing junior humans with Dora and Diego in their rotation were being exposed to that content.

Skin: I bet those kids will live happy, fulfilled lives. At least The Hangover is realistic. Dora teaches kids to hang out with monkeys named after footwear.

Ben: I wanted to step in and advise those clowns on how to raise their doomed children, but I was afraid that I would either catch a beating or miss a funny part of the movie. I think it was Josh Howard who told me that you can't control what the stupid parent gonna do. Actually, that might have been something you told me. I can't remember.

Skin: People get me mixed up for JoHo all the time. Rick Carlisle yelled at me toward the end of the season for taking an ill-advised shot. I retaliated by throwing up on Artie Lange.

TOPIC 3

Skin: I watched Anderson Cooper on CNN last week discussing the legalization of pot, and came away thinking, "Anderson Cooper spends a lot of time in the weight room." He's rocking Polos that are three sizes too small. He gives off a "never-mind-this-news-story, let's-talk-about-my-workout-regimen" vibe. What do you think about pot?

Ben: I didn't see the special, but I'm enjoying seeing you so smitten with AC. I hope you two are very happy in your news provider/news accepter relationship. I can't wait until your wife walks in on you doing curls to the news in a tight polo. Maybe they should legalize the stink leaf. Perhaps it could save the economy.

Skin: So it is curls, huh? I didn't think those looked like bench-press biceps. I've heard the "save the economy" argument before, but I ain't buying it. Everyone I know who smokes weed aspires to be a pizza delivery guy or video game tester. I'm thinking that would adversely affect the workforce. If weed is so readily available, then the whole nation will become Austin. If everything is quirky, then nothing is quirky.

Ben: Then "corporate" would be cool again. It's all cyclical. That's why I'm trying to get ahead of the next trend by being Chris Farley fat before everyone else tries to jump on the bandwagon. This whole fitness thing is going to die just like it did when Richard Simmons passed away. Wait, what? He's alive? Scratch that. Apparently, I'm fat for no reason. Will you please start wearing short, tight shorts to cheer me on in my weight loss efforts? In exchange, I'll remind you to stop throwing up in front of your children.

Hear the guys on The Ben and Skin Show weekdays from 3 to 7 p.m. on 105.3 "The Fan." Follow them at twitter.com/benandskin. And read their bonus topic on QuickDFW.com.